I have many experiences and have much on my plate
I have stayed strong and stay here in wait
When I am wronged no matter the wrong I negate
A grudge is not something to add to my weight
I would rather forgive now then stand there and wait
Spending times with my friend is my best real estate
I would protect them no matter what that is something I can restate
Smiling at any given state, kindness to strangers is another trait
I find that kindness should be spread not replaced with hate
Lowering the tears in the world and stopping its growth rate
"I" Is Copyright To AbdulAziz Mohammed 2009
Your a brilliant writer. You have great vocab and great diction. But somehow the rhyming scheme feels forced here. I could be imposing my own feelings here just a little cuz I've always felt stifled when it comes to rhyming that I don't have freedom to move as much as I'd like. And the business related rhymes are killing me here! lol
ReplyDeleteI mentioned that I admire how you write in both Arabic and English. When you write posts, your language seems mashallah seemless Bilingual in every sense of the word. Except here. When I compare your arabic poem to your English one, I see where your strength is at. Its Arabic.
So when you write, I notice you imposing your Arabic rules in English. The strict rhyming structure. There was a poem awhile back that had a beginning but no real conclusion and the ideas seemed seperate, because that's okay in Arabic. Keep on experimenting with your writing the way u've been doing. Experiment with different styles and try to notice where the Arabic background comes in. It should fix itself as long as your aware of it.
thanks Shahd for your valuable comment, I will keep it in mind ^_^
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