Monday, September 17, 2012

"That person who hates you, Love them even more"

Yesterday, while I was checking Twitter, I’ve come across a tweet that made me pause for a minute to think, which usually happens when I am settled and at peace, boosted by reading an interesting tweet. As you know, a thought may come from our experience, knowledge, problems and many things we have pondered and stored in memory. They may be generated by our emotions and five senses, I have a deeper explanation for the origin of thoughts but I prefer to save it for now. What I want to say, I start usually thinking about other people’s tweets is when it seems it’s contradicting my knowledge (what’s stored in my brain) to me it’s a learning process as well. I have decided to learn from everyone and everything around me for ignorance to me is too great a burden to bear.

A great Emirati writer and a dear sister of mine @ALANOUD_auh wrote the following tweet: “That person who loves you, love them back. That other person who hates you, love them even more.” I am not sure if it’s her own words or someone else’s, but what I know  it somehow contradicted the knowledge I have in mind. How can a person who hates me deserve a greater love than a person who loves me!? According to my knowledge this is “Unfair”. Note that I am not suggesting it’s not possible, it’s possible but it’s one of life’s greatest challenges. In fact loving those who hates you does have countless benefits which deserves a dedicated post about it. Maybe the most important benefit about loving those who hates you, is that you will be happier and you will be great example for others. You may change the hater’s life and he maybe become your friend, it’s better for this world…etc

Knowing that AlAnoud is having a mind a bit different from most other tweeps I know, a great awareness and understanding, I asked myself, how can this sentence match with what I know? Meaning, I am searching for an excuse in my mind so that her sentence can be considered true, at least in my mind (I am not sure if my excuse will be considered true by you dear reader, but I will let you answer once you finish reading). As AlAnoud said in another tweet, it’s requires mind effort which I totally agree, remember I am only suggesting it’s not fair and I am sure many of you agree with me on that.

I think that sentence I mean “That other person who hates you, love them even more” can match what I know in one way. You don’t need to love (Give Out) that person more love but you require to (Give In) yourself more love. What I mean is that to love someone who loves you is easy, you don’t have to look for reasons to love them back. The fact that they love you is enough of a reason to love them back. However to love someone who hates you, you require great love to not hate them back, greater love to not hate or love them and a greater love to love them back! You don’t need to give those who hates you a greater love than those who loves you, but you require internally a greater love in order for you to love your enemies without being unfair with the others. Afterall there are a thousand way to bleed and your haters may not be carring arrows, it’s you who maybe shooting the arrows at yourself.

Hate is the absence of love, the person who hates you gave you many reasons for hate to be emerged in your heart. The reasons for hate are so many that a love may disappear from your heart for that specific person, the solutions is to find reasons to love them back. Reasons are many, For example but not limited, to love them as fellow human being, forgive and let the past go, accept their behavior and try to understand their hate. Put aside any wrongs as if they were hating a wall not you, find things you may love about them or search for things in common. You may put yourself in their shoes, would you love to be called a hater!? You feel sorry for them for hating others, you feel sorry for them that they may end up hurting himself, you feel sorry that they may end up dying without cleaning their hearts from hatred, you feel sorry that they may get punished by God for their hate. You need to reach out to them, to defeat your pride and express your love for them. All these are reasons to love a person, you are searching for reasons to love that person, you are actually trying to increase the love in you and decrease the hate within.

As I said earlier, hate is the absence of love, once reasons of love appear it’s when reasons of hate disappear. Imagine yourself in a dark room and you light up a candle, you can see better, if you light up another candle you can see better and the darkness disappears. Similarly consider each reason for love a candle, and the hate the darkness in the room of your heart, the more candles you have in your heart, the less darkness you will have.

Remember that this great love you are having in  your heart after finding the reasons is only to remove the darkness in your heart, but the person who loves you didn’t cause any darkness to be emerged in your heart so after all the love you used internally the love you are spreading out may be less or equal to the love you easily gave for the person who loves you back. If you search for reasons to love the person who loves you, you will find countless reasons and it’s far easier, thus you can give out greater love to that person. So if you used the same amount of love internally for the person who loves you, the amount of love you will spread will be great, I mean GREAT! Please read again what I said carefully to grasp the difference.

I am not going to say how the sentence should be written for you dear tweeps might know better than me, but what I wanted to say, sometimes we may mean something but our words can’t describe what we exactly mean. Please remember I am not suggesting that what I wrote above is what my sister AlAnoud meant, it’s an excuse I used so her words can match my limited knowledge. Said that, I am really grateful to AlAnoud for the opportunities to learn, to think, to comment and I appreciate reading your tweets dear readers, for I am always learning…


  1. Great post! Never in my life i felt hate for something or someone, i don't know what is it? is it bad?...
    Love? Love i feel every day in my life in all expressions of the soul.I thought differently, i thought for hate had to love before... But you have got reason, i agree!

    Thank you for your new post :)

  2. The only "hate" that contradicts this very deep quote your post mentioned is the hate for the sake of Allah.

    A muslim can never love the other even more if that other person hates the prophet you follow, hates the laws Allah put, hates everything about this amazing religion.

    Great post, makes you think quite a bit... hehe!!


  3. Thanks for your comments Loli & Bu Thyab

    A Minor comment to Bu Thyab, it's true there are people who hates us for no reason but because we are Muslims, they hate our religion, our god, our Prophet. Honestly I see your point but I think you need a greater love to guide them, how many Arabs used to hate the Prophet but afterwards they become Muslims when they saw the beauty of Islam? So for them you need a great love to convince them to Islam, because it's really hard to love someone who hates you or hate things that you value so you need great love.

  4. The prophet Muhammad peace and blessings and prayers be upon him did not love "Kuffar Quraysh" rather he only showed them what is Islam and how Muslims treat others in good behaviour and attitude. He even made do'a towards some of the Arabs of Quraysh. Even Allah, subhanah w ta'ala, mentioned some of those Arabs, e.g. Lahab and his wife.

    The prophet peace and blessings and prayers be upon him wanted them to enter Islam so bad that he kept preaching Allah's words. He came as a mercy to the entire mankind since his prophethood until Day of Judgement. But, he never "loved" those who produced evil and started wars.

    Hope that clarifies my point of view.

  5. By Thyab, what you said is not conflicting with what I said :) I am not saying Prophet Loved them, but Prophet had greater love in his heart that he kept preaching and guiding them, if it wasn't for the great love and mercy of the Prophet he could have ignored them :)

  6. Yes, now I understand... hehe, thanks heaps for your patience with me ^^,

    Allah yjzak kel khair!!

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