Sunday, October 31, 2010

Fear Of Death

Four months ago, my dear brother died suddenly, he was nearly my age. For some reasons today, while I was taking a shower, I remembered him and all the events on the day of his death.  I remembered the time I was in hospital seeing his lifeless body, dozens crying out loud and some others who were shocked while others were standing still.

In the hospital, while others were crying I was standing and seeing my brother’s dead body, thinking what he is going through now, one day I will be in his place. Filled with thoughts I lost myself and lost awareness of what’s going around me. I wasn’t crying but there was an ache within my throat so gripped it, I could make no sound but a thick sobbing. Images were flashing in front of me and without realizing, my tears were running heavily down my cheeks raining the ground with teardrops. The doctors covered my brother and took him out of the room. When my elder brother saw what I was going through, told me to stay in the room and closed the door to not let my mother see me crying, for my mother was always moved by the feelings of her sons.

I remember when we went to the cemetery, seeing people preparing my dead brother to bury him, surrounded by family and close friends. I saw tears of people I never expected to see. That night I buried my brother with my hands…

When I was in my room, I realized that I am scared to the bones. After all, my brother was a healthy man and he wasn’t sick or tired, he was walking peacefully and suddenly fell so I was afraid to walk I could barely step forward fearing to be the next in the list of Angel of Death. I was surprised of this fear since I am, like any other human, fully aware that one day we will be dead but I think what was the source of this great fear is the uncertainty of the hour of death included my attachment to this world and my ignorance of Death.

We may have cure for any disease and have insurance against day-to-day uncertainty we may come across. No human have neither a shield protecting him against the claws of death or a body that can endure the pain. The threat of death makes people a lot more aware of their lives, as much as the sunset view is beautiful yet it's scary knowing the fact that we are one day closer to death.

We humans naturally might fear a great person or a great being, but once this being is with us all the time in our thoughts, the fear get less. Like a king of a great empire, the people may respect and fear him while his sons can act freely without any fear in his presence.  We are living our days without uttering a word about death then suddenly seeing death has chosen close people we love causes great fear and grief. The fear originally emerges in from the lack of preparation and that fear is less to people who always remember the angel of death.

When we feel death is in our presence, everyone will accept the bad circumstances he or she been through their lives. Sickness, aging, no money and bad relationships, we will accept all of that. Nobody is willing to die and all the negativity we have in our life is no burden compared to the burden of death.

We should really do something about the false believe we have deeply rotted in our heart that we are immortals. We cannot kill death but at least we can kill our fears by preparation and best way to have a great preparation is seeking knowledge than act honestly upon the knowledge we have.  Understanding that Life & Death both are God’s creation and understanding that it’s a cycle will aid us to overcome our fear of death. The reason we fear death is because we are not prepared and focused on what’s life teaching us, we are like students in a class, we get totally surprised and filled with fear if the teacher suddenly said: “Guys, close your books, we are going to have test NOW”.

The awareness of the day of our death is the day where our physical journey ends in this material realm and the first day to the journey of eternity is a great knowledge we can benefit from. Living each day as our last will greatly affect the way live. Take one day at a time; focus on what you do and give it your best. Don't be too attached to anything…

I am glad I remembered those moments, as the time pass we unintentionally forget our purpose in this life. The faith in our heart is like a perfume we wear, as the time pass the smell get weak till it's totally gone so we wear it again. The same goes for faith if you don't renew your faith every now and then there is a possibility its light will fade till it's totally gone. One wish I always hold dear is, when my time comes near I face death without fear. If I defeat my fears I will choose to walk toward death instead of waiting for death to come…


9 comments:

  1. Deeply sorry for your loss!!

    Nice thought: "The reason we fear death is because we are not prepared and focused on what’s life teaching us, we are like students in a class, we get totally surprised and filled with fear if the teacher suddenly said: “Guys, close your books, we are going to have test NOW”."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Selenity for your comment, I am glad you like my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, really you write with your heart, I love your words.

    I'm on the other side of the planet (Colombia)but what you've written has touched my soul because I felt the same.

    P.D. sorry for my English

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so glad that my words could reach the depths of your heart, a powerful tool I failed to recognize I have :D

    Don't be sorry, my English is even worse than urs ^_^! thx 4 ur comment

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Don't be too attached to anything..."

    Really? Anything? Or "earthly matters"?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Also, your analogy of perfume & faith is perfect. Today's scent won't last for tomorrow. And today's faith is likely to fade until tomorrow.

    Very similar to the one with motivation.
    Motivation is like taking a bath. You need to motivate yourself everyday.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Asalamu-alaikum warahmatullah. Beautiful article-may Allah grant your brother Jannah tul Firdous and reward you for this reminder.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm sorry for your loss. I could relate to a lot of what you're saying because I went through something similar, reading it staright out shook me. I like the way you write, expressive, deep and honest.

    I wish I could think the same way you do. I mean towards the end when you said you'd walk towards death. That is something I can't do.

    Thank's for sharing. I'm sure it was hard.

    Allah yr7mh o y'3md roo7h ijnnh inshAllah

    ReplyDelete
  9. my heart ached reading this, may his soul rest in eternal peace <3

    ReplyDelete