Tuesday, September 6, 2011

"And When I Am ill, it is HE Who cures me"

It’s been a long time since I posted something in my blog… there were two main reasons behind that… First, it was Ramadan where I could barely find time to use my laptop, and the second is that I got sick in Eid. My body expressed some of its inner rage, I am sure you got what I mean by inner rage, well in case if you didn’t, I got high fever. A lot of people in my life are getting sick or potentially going to get sick but I admit I can never understand their feelings, I only understand when I am sick myself. Imagine, laying on the bed for days motionless, barely moving a hand or leg, feeling weak, can’t do the things you liked to do, emotionless, powerless, waiting for the time to pass quickly so you regain your powers.

While I was on my bed tired, I felt that my bones were melting, I wasn’t sure if I would survive this till I can see the light the next day. One thing I was sure about is that if I had mountains of Gold I would pay to get cured from my illness. I took all the pills and drugs suggested against the cold and fever however, they were useless, while staying on my bed the only thing I was good at was thinking about my past, present and future. Things that happened in the past & I cherished, things I am possessing now, my dreams and objectives….etc I remembered important days in my life, I have rewind the movie of my life, I admit my life was nothing but a very short life, to be honest, all the images and memories meant nothing to me at that moment, yes all things I had and I wanted meant nothing, the only thing I wanted at that moment was to… Survive…

If I was my old self I would pretend to be strong & I don’t need anything, I would say I would slap the disease off, I would smile few times and that’s it, I would claim I am strong and simple sickness wouldn’t stop me to achieve my goals, you know all those tips you get in most western’s self-help books but I am glad I’ve changed. I learned that a disease and its treatment can be a series of humiliations. When God put us in trial or in a weak state where we can’t do anything about, he doesn’t want us to be arrogant and pretend to be strong and that we can rely on ourselves without needing anything else, instead he wants us to ask him for his mercy. Allah said in the Quran

((فَلَوْلا إِذْ جَاءَهُمْ بَأْسُنَا تَضَرَّعُوا وَلَكِنْ قَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ وَزَيَّنَ لَهُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ))
سورة الأنعام الآية 43
((When the suffering reached them from Us, why then did they not learn humility? On the contrary their hearts became hardened, and Satan made their (sinful) acts seem alluring to them.))
Holy Quran (Chapter 06 Verse 43)

Even though I got this fever on the Eid, I thanked God for what happened, don’t get me wrong, being sick is not a nice feeling or a desired state, but I found myself in a state I can’t fight back, so I realized it’s a trial from God teaching me a lesson for my mistakes or cleaning my soul. This awareness made me thanks God first for choosing me, there are countless people who don’t get sick so they don’t get the chance to examine their life and what’s important in it, and they might just keep doing wrong things ignoring the existence of Allah. The second reason why I am grateful is that I am still alive writing those words. I can’t think of the people who died because of high fever! I know a lot, so just surviving is a gift I can’t thank even if I kept kneeling to God thanking him for the rest of my life. I am not sure if it was only me or there are others who felt the same, but when the disease stroked me I kept thinking of God more than anytime else, maybe that’s one of the beauty and blessing of the disease, that you forget all the earthly matters and focus on God. I wasn’t able to raise my hands to pray for God nor I was able to shout and cry but deeply in my heart I was calling Allah for help and I admitted that I am powerless I need him where is the Almighty the Most Powerful who doesn’t need anything.


  1. Great! I love read this post because i think u r very descriptive and when i reed i can feel r think. Sorry 4 my poor english because speak and write in spanish or portuguese!

    Kisses from Buenos Aires, AR,



  2. Assalamu Alaikum
    Brother that was an absolutely awesome post. MashaAllah! You've managed to capture the emotions and feelings that most of us go through during illness and described it so beautifully.
    Yes good health is such a blessing from Allah, seeing sick patients at the hospital everyday really makes me value good health.

  3. Assalamu alaikum,

    what a beautifull post! You belong to the lucky ones mashaallah to reflect on yourself and to keep it also after the state of sickness.
    I am very often thinking about this matter as I got a chronical disease and I am greatfull alhamdullilah. Sure it is not nice feeling sick and when I have an exacerbation and feel unhappy I remind myself each time to be happy mainly because I got the oppurtunaty to get some of my sins washed away and on the other side I am greatfull because of comparing all those who are in a much worse state than me.
    May Allah swt. let us always be greatfull and patient. Ameen

    By the way, a great blog you have here! Love your point of view and enjoyed the post about wahabism/salafism very much!

  4. Hello again :) I haven got a lot of time but when i can, i try read in english or write because i interested. In your about me u write a poesy. This poesy are you?... because maybe scary because is 2 face is strong!!!

    I´m always be my self because i´m fresh and suffering is part of life and enjoy it too!!! Every morning is a blessing and worth living intensely!

    Kisses from Argentina and sorry 4 my bad english!!! My dream!?help the poor people, travel the world, and be multilingual! Rich is culture money only paper!


  5. Loli:
    First of all I thank you for spending your time reading my blog, it's good to know that people from far countries reading my humble blog. Second, don't worry about your English, I can understand what you write plus English is not my mother language, I am Arabian so no worries. As for the about me section, the poem there is not that I have two faces, it's very old post and I liked so I posted as a description of myself :D

    Plus lots of things happened in my life and as you know people do changes from time to another

    Wa Alikom El Salam Wa Rahmato Allah wa Barakatoh, thank you so much for your beautiful comment, I am glad you found my post interesting. There is another post I posted called" Be grateful before it's too late" I talked about the gratitude part in more details hope it helps more ^^ thanks for ur comment

    Wa Alikom El Salam Wa Rahmato Allah wa Barakatoh,thanks for your comment, I always thank God, I think in every situation we find ourselves in life there is a meaning to it, all we need to do is to discover the meaning to feel little bit better. If all sick people in the world be positive about the situation they are in I am sure things will get better.

    I am glad you like my blog, it's good news, I am going to write more new posts inshallah, hope you read them. Hope you benefit from my previous posts as well.

    Thank you all for passing by and commenting.

  6. Thank s a lot now understand you more. I feel you are a good person with big spirit. I fell better for you. Now i will go to the news posts!

    kisses and i think your blog is great because has got soul!

  7. I had that kind of experience before....and it was really frustrating..I wish those people who are suffering from cancer or uncured diseases could read ur blog.Your life can really change depends on how you're looking at things.....it is so true.

    I am not Muslim and I have to admit that I used to have different attitude toward Islam but ever since I've been reading ur blog honestly you have changed me.

    Your post has inspired me a lot and in different ways, when i feel weak and down I feel like I still have hope. Thank you man. I wish all the very best for you. Keep it up :D

  8. Thank you Loli and "Anonymous"

    I am so glad to hear such words from you. You don't know how happy I feel when I see that people are benefiting from my words, thanks alot for all your kind words. My religion is beautiful but the only thing we need is someone to show its treasures in a beautiful way.

    Thanks again

  9. Hi!

    Always i back hahaha!!!... I saw many things here:

    1) My english sucks but is better now!

    2) I wrote many comments like a Justin Bieber's fan ( kill me for the last joke ;) ) Never i say hate but is a sin if i'll say: I hate Justin Bieber and his fan, music? or whatever about him?... not?!... well... Thank you to Allah you arent "this boy" but when i saw all i wrote or i said uff!!!...

    3) Are you sick again? Well relax dear, all your family care of you and with all love in this Ramadan. Is wonderful the together family...

    4) Why are you sick? Maybe because in Ramadan you stated to relax... and many weather changes... outdoor 51C indoor 24C... is many stress for your body and in part too is maybe for holidays... many work and you in this moment "put in off" the machine ( it's a way!)... The body suffering every day of the year many things and you with your sensibility is obvious your fever!

    5)Every year when the catholics fest were coming ALWAYS i was sick... in the hospital too... and for stress lost my memory for two hours two years ago hahaha!!!... But now is different: I love the Ramadan :) before i was suffering the holidays now, i'll enjoy it with my way, sure!

    6)Really... my all comments is like just a blog! But now like "many people" started to comment every post. GOOD is hour!!!... is nice when the people wrote to i, in this case to you... Every post have got sense. And your blog have got sense in the net... is a best place in the blogosphere

    Mwahhs :)

  10. I swear I forgot for complete every comment by me in that post but I remember for complete your post and when I read again, I started to cry...
    I read my old comments, and was worst. I crying because I could understand you as anybody else. Don't ask me, why? OMG in some way I felt and I feel the same with or without fever...
    I smiled with my tears when I read my old comment about your profile as "two faces" before I felt fear because my father is Gemini as you and was a bad sensation but today I understand many more about your two faces, very far away of the fake's man or something bad... You hide your pure side because behind this strong man live a fragile and human person better than many and is too much heavy the treason. Your illness is just an anecdote of many weakness...
    Sometimes the "weakness" shows the more pure of our soul in other king of person the miseries, isn't your case. Show your real you... Just choose with your heart and brain. Never show your "weak points" on public because many bad people for any reason could will make you hurt with this, you are more smart than me. I admired, and I learn and I'll learn many things of you!


  11. Great post. It's great being a Muslim because in happiness and hardship, many of us thank Allah because they understand that there is always a wisdom behind Allah's plan. Ayoob Alihi Salam bore his severe disease for almost 18 years and everything stopped functioning in his body except his heart and tongue. Allah is the biggest of doctors.

    May Allah heal you and give you more strength, Amen.
    Keep up your good work and May your posts be a continues charity for you after death, Amen.