Repentance

Greetings reader, today as usual I was going through the questions I receive from the “ask.fm” website a lady wrote her story which I am going to quote and asked few questions. I wanted to share my answer in my blog, so that anyone who went through the same or similar situations may learn. I have collected all parts of the scattered questions for easier understanding. The lady said:

“I have sinned, I got pregnant and had an abortion being unmarried. I hope God, my parents and my baby find it in them to forgive me.  I am a Non-Muslim and the guy was a Muslim, I would never have wanted to kill my baby that had a heart beating inside of me. Let’s say being in the emirates, the guy not taking responsibility for his actions left me with no say but to go with what my parents decided for me. I let the guy know what we had done was “Haram” and that we should learn from it but nothing has changed him. He still sleeps around and prays in spite. How does he face God knowing he did nothing to correct his mistake, this kills me. Everyday I cry so much cause I can’t take everything I put myself, my family and my baby through. How do I ask God for forgiveness when I can’t even face myself in the mirror. I am broken Abdulaziz. I just don’t know how to get myself together. I am only 18, this is not how I planned life to be. Another question do you think I should even keep the guy in my life after how he backed out on me and now acts like nothing ever happened?”

I am really confused, are you a Muslim or Non-Muslim? If you are Non-Muslim and thinking about Halal and Haram, that’s something I never heard of. It seems your heart is not dead yet and it could be a sign that one day you will be a Muslim, younger sister to me in Islam, for only the hearts that’s alive would feel guilty after committing sins, the heart of those who don’t have faith no matter how many sins they commit It means nothing to them. One of the great companions of the Prophet Mohammed (Peace and prayers be upon him) said: “A believer sees his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain which he is afraid may fall on him, whereas the wicked person considers his sins as flies passing over his nose and he just drives them away like this (and he moved his hand over his nose in illustration)”.

Before I start answering your question, I would like to clarify that what you did consists of many sins, but I want to focus on the “Zina”. Zina is one of the major sins in Islam, the meaning of Zina is “Unlawful sexual intercourse, i.e. intercourse between a man and a woman who are not married to one another”. Allah said in the Holy Quran: “Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).” (Translation of the verse 32, chapter 17) why do you think God said an evil, opening the road to other evils? My limited answer is a lady may get pregnant without getting married, an innocent baby may be killed without doing anything that deserves death. If they didn’t kill the baby, the child may born but the woman marry another man, the child doesn’t know who is his father, a child may be insulted by all those around him, isn't that sad! Ladies are being treated as animals and machines, men use them after they get satisfied they throw them as if they were garbage, isn’t that sad!? What I mentioned are few reasons why it’s a major sin, there are countless other reasons why God warned us to commit this sin.

Those who thinks that there is no issue with Zina they don’t have a loving heart, they are selfish, they only think to satisfy themselves even if it means causing suffering for other innocent beings. If they told you that your sin is nothing major, they are lying to you. If they are saying it’s ok since people are sinning day and night. Remember, one shouldn’t sin just because everyone around you committing sins, One shouldn’t act like a pig if he was surrounded by pigs. I am not a liar and I don’t like lies, so I wouldn’t lie to you just to make you feel good by saying your sin is a simple sin, No, you committed a great sin, it’s up to God to either forgive you or punish you, if that’s the case you need a great repentance. As for the guy who caused this, I would like to say if he is not willing to marry you, leave him. You don’t need to commit the sin again, again and again. Plus a real Muslim wouldn’t do Zina without marrying, you either talk to someone who can talk to him and may he be guided and Marry you otherwise leave him.

The reason you are broken because you committed a great sin, a great mistake that anyone would feel guilty if committed if they have heart, I think you have a living heart and most likely the living hearts God guides them so don’t despair. Now the question would God forgive you, well this depends on the sincerity of your repentance, by repentance I mean the act of leaving what God has prohibited and returning to what he has commanded.  It’s true that you committed one of the biggest sins in sight of Allah but never lose hope and remember one of God’s Name is the “The Forgiving”. God Said in the Quran: “Say: 'O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” Also remember that hope in the Mercy of Allah should be accompanied by regret and remorse of the heart upon the sins committed, sincerity, hastening in repentance and avoiding sins as is clearly manifest. As for every pain there is a medicine, there is a medicine for those who sinned and are having pain in their heart, the two great medicine I am talking about is a Sincere repentance. “Repentance” could be defined as a feeling of being ashamed, sorry, and regretful for past sins.  Someone who is indeed ashamed by heart for his past sins may truly be called as a repentant. Prophet Mohammed (Peace and Prayers be upon him) said: "Feeling ashamed and being sorry (for past deeds) is repentance” In fact we Muslims should repent, since we are all sinners, we believe in God, the great messengers of Allah, we believe in the Judgment day, Hell & Heaven…etc there is nothing more essential than repentance for someone who believes in the things I mentioned.

Unlike other religions, we Muslims don’t view any human as being infallible; we believe that infallibility belongs to God alone. Therefore we believe that the only source for forgiveness for a human is God. Which means you don’t have to go to priest and confess, or ask him for forgiveness, you don’t need to buy tickets of forgiveness and such things, all you have to do is repent to God. If you really repent, God may love you for that, change all your sins to Good Deeds for a repentance is a good deed, in Islam the good deeds removes the bad deeds. Allah said in the Quran: “Surely Allah loves those who turn unto him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves”. Prophet Mohammed (Peace and prayers be upon him) said: “Allah is more delighted with the repentance of His servant than one of you would be, who suddenly finds his camel laden with supplies after losing it in a barren land".  We Muslims believe what the Prophet Mohammed (Peace and prayers be upon him) said: "One who repents from sin is like one without sin."

It’s true we may repent daily hundreds of times but for a repentance to be accepted at least you need to be sincere, you should give up the sin otherwise it means you were not devoted in repenting. Imagine a man killed your sister, then he asked for forgiveness, then he kills another, then he asked for forgiveness, can you forgive him? Do you think such person deserves forgiveness? Similarly you should give up sin. You should regret having done it because only if you regret it means you know you did something wrong that you may deserve a punishment for it, regretting a sin doesn’t mean losing hope or being negative, it supports you to not commit this sin again and it purifies the heart. You should resolve never to go back to it as well. If the mentioned conditions are met by you, I really hope that your repentance will be accepted by God.

I know what happened may not be planned by you, but don’t worry, if you really have faith in God have faith that what happened may leads you to a new life, a new beginning, a new chapter in your book. This may happened so you ask a Muslim, to be guided by God and become a Muslim. We never know what’s planned for us. Personally, If you are not Muslim, looking for a peace of heart and mind, I invite you to submit your soul to God and become a Muslim? A Muslim means someone who submits his soul to God. After reading all the things Allah said in the Quran, all the sayings of Prophet Mohammed (Peace and prayers be upon him) one can’t think of anything but the greatness of Islam, the messenger and Almighty God.  Even if you can’t see yourself in the mirror God can see you wherever you are and he knows what you are going through. Allah’s mercy is infinite, it’s not limited, he is more merciful to us than ourselves. God wants you to worship him alone, he don’t want you to associate with him any partners, not Jesus nor Mohammed, not priests, not the sun, moon and the stars.

It’s true I answered as above, please note that I am no Angel, I am not perfect human being who never committed a sin. I am a sinner like you, in fact my sins could be greater in the sight of Allah, for only Allah knows how much I sin and how great are my sins. I am not proud of my sins but I said that so you know that all Muslims commit sins, but some of them repent while others don’t care. Finally I will remind you a very beautiful information, Prophet Mohammed (Peace and Prayers be upon him) said what Allah said: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me, and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.” May God forgive us and forgive you, May God guide you to the truth. 

How to Increase Your Faith?

I received an email from a lady from Nigeria, I was surprised like you dear reader, all the way from Nigeria? According to the lady, she was reading my tweets and reading some of my answers to the questions I receive from the “ask.fm” website so she thought I could help her. Starting directly, I will quote the lady’s problem: “My Main problem is my heart is full of hatred, I am trying so hard to love again. I can't worship Allah that way, I can't even focus when I pray because I feel sad & down. I don't want to die as an unbeliever” first of all I would like to congratulate the lady, because thinking about the problem, getting scared of dying as an unbeliever is a proof that she is having faith. If one lost faith he wouldn’t even care if he died as an unbeliever so “Congratulations”. Also I would like to remind the sender, the more one stay with the problem and think about it, the better opportunity to find solutions.

I think many of us share the same problem the lady described, that’s why I am posting my answer to her in this blog so others may learn as well. About the hate issue, I recently wrote a post about “Hate” so please read it, "That Person Who Hates You Love Them as for the other part of the problem, well even myself sometimes when I worship I lose focus, the main reason for that is the lack of faith. Faith is that beautiful flavor that adds sweet taste to everything we do. Once faith gets weak the fruits of our worship are not sweet. As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer a reason to ask “WHY?” I think the solution to the lady’s problem, I mean to our problem, is to increase our faith. Below some words on ways to boost your faith.

The most important step is to increase your faith in God, You don't have to have faith in everything as long as you have faith in God, you don’t have to see the whole staircase just take the first step. Have faith that Allah exists, you cannot have faith in something you don’t believe it exists. If an ignorant asked how we can believe God exists when we can’t see him, immediately answer that faith is to believe what you do not see and the reward is to see what you believe. However that’s not the only way to answer, our great God had left billions of signs that proves he exists, signs in the universe, the earth, the heavens, the plants, the mountains, the underwater, the animals, in human body…etc but you need a searching heart to see the signs. Our God, Allah, said in the Holy Quran: “Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, and the ships which sail through the sea with that which is of use to mankind, and the water (rain) which Allah sends down from the sky and makes the earth alive therewith after its death, and the moving (living) creatures of all kinds that He has scattered therein, and in the veering of winds and clouds which are held between the sky and the earth, are indeed Ayat (proofs, evidences, signs, etc.) for people of understanding.”  (Translation of the verse 164, Chapter 02)

If your heart filled with hatred for God your heart will be blocked to see the signs. Imagine 2 blinds, one said I don’t believe the sun exists because I can’t see it, while the other blind said, well I believe the sun exists because millions of honest people are saying he existed, I can feel the difference between morning and evening, the weather temperature…etc which one do you think is smarter? God is not evil, he will never ask you to believe in his existence if there are no signs, he wouldn’t ask you to do anything you can't handle, so don't stress and have faith. 

Learn more about your God and his attributes, we cannot worship something we don’t know. Learn about Allah’s great names, learn about his works in the book he revealed to his messenger, learn what each beautiful name means. One of Allah’s name is “The All-Merciful” it means he is more merciful to his slaves than a mother to her child, all those mercy you see in this world is nothing compared to his mercy. If you committed sins, never lose hope and remember one of God’s Name is the “The Forgiving”. God Said in the Quran: “Say: 'O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” But as they said: hope in the Mercy of Allah should be accompanied by regret and remorse of the heart upon the sins committed, sincerity, hastening in repentance and avoiding sins as is clearly manifest. Learn about his name “The Absolute Ruler”, the ruler that must be obeyed in all times, no one should be obeyed if it’s against Allah’s orders, Allah’s orders and rules comes before anything else.

Try to learn about his names, The Pure One, The Source of Peace, The Victorious, The Compeller, The Creator, The Greatest, The Shaper of Beauty, The Giver of All, The Sustainer, The Magnificent, The Truth, The Possessor of All Strength, The Self-Existing One, The Ever Living One, The Only One…etc Throughout life people will hurt you, disrespect you and may get you mad but if you have faith in Allah’s names you wouldn’t hate what’s happening to you, because you know one of God’s name is “The Wise” he is allowing such events for a reason, you know God will deal with the things they do, hate wouldn’t consume their hatred but it will only consume you.  Once learning about his names and what they mean you will realize your faith increased dramatically.

Maybe the easiest way to soften one’s heart is to recite and ponder on the meanings of the Quran, after all it’s the words of God. Can you imagine the happiness of a lover when he receives a letter from his loved one? Imagine and remind yourself that Allah the greatest, the king of kings, the all merciful, is speaking to you through his book. When Allah says in the Quran do this or that, don’t question God, just do them, trust his words, isn’t he “The All Knowing”? Isn’t he “The Absolute Ruler” who is worthy to be obeyed? If we received an order from the leader of the city we feel so proud because that leader asked us to do something, now you have the opportunity, that God of all beings is ordering you. Show God how glad you are in obeying him. Show him much you are grateful for the opportunity he gave you to talk to you through the Quran.

Learn about the great messenger and Prophet of Allah, Mohammed (Peace and prayer be upon him). Learn about his behaviors, attitudes, attributes, his worship, his deeds, follow him, obey his orders, love this great messenger and if you followed the Prophet with Love be prepared to be loved by the greatest of all, Allah. Allah said in the Quran: “Say (O Muhammad to mankind): "If you (really) love Allah then follow me (i.e. accept Islamic Monotheism, follow the Quran and the Sunnah), Allah will love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Translation of the verse 31, Chapter 03)

Look around you, Life is one big road with billions of signs that guides you to believe in the existence of Almighty Allah. Don’t bury your thoughts in ignorance and don’t blind your eyes with hate. Learn about the Miracles in this great universe, remember who created the universe, the heavens and earth, the stars and mountains, the beautiful animals and plants. Learn about the miracles in your body, learn about the purpose of each part in your body and you will find signs everywhere that Allah exists which helps in boosting your faith.

There is nothing more important than obeying what Allah asks of you, one of the things Allah asked us to do is to pray for him, it’s also one of the hardest tasks which is natural given the great benefits of the prayers. “Prayer is the mother and daughter of tears. It is an expiation of sin, a bridge across temptation, a bulwark against affliction. It wipes out conflict, is the work of angels, and is the nourishment of everything spiritual”. For most of us prayer is a challenge, we get the real fruits if we are not distracted, Pray sincerely on time. The key to not get distracted while praying, is remembering that where there is prayer, God is present (as suitable for him), especially when that prayer comes from within the heart. Allah loves to hear us pray when we pray from the heart. How you prepare yourself when you are visiting a king of a country? Remember when you are praying you are in the presence of Allah. Pray because you are answering Allah's call to prayer and remember: “All who call on God in true faith, earnestly from the heart, will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired”. There is a saying I like, “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.”

Try to find friends who remind you of Allah and run away from those who did forget their God. Don’t attach your heart with songs, movies, games for most of them are only means to get you further from Allah. Remember Allah is watching and hearing you wherever you are. Even if you did hide from human you can never hide from Allah. For example can you sleep with someone not allowed if your friends are looking? I am sure you will not but let’s assume you are not ashamed but will you do it infront of your parents? No one dares to do such in front of their parents, then why we dare to do this while we know Allah is watching us?

Be grateful for being Muslim, Islam is our greatest gift. We have to be thankful for this gift, be grateful for everything you have. The more thankful you are the more you will realize how much you have been blessed. Like you give promises to your friends, give promise to Allah and keep to your promise. Struggle towards goodwill, remember death and grave. We are all leaving this world, do you want to leave this world and your last act was a sin, or leaving this world while praying to God? Do you want to be remembered positively or you want to be remembered but cursed? Death will not only come when hair and the beard turn white, but it can come at any time, no matter what’s your status, even if you are a king or a leader death will pay you a visit. Seek knowledge and obtain Wisdom, if you are wondering how, read my post: How Does One Attain Wisdom?

I really wish if I answered your question and helped in solving the problem. Finally dear reader, don’t be sad if you are not getting whatever you want in this life, remember what Prophet Mohammed (Peace and prayer be upon him) said: “This world is a prison for the Faithful, but a Paradise for unbelievers” which is better? To be a prison for a limited time or be prison for eternity?