Be Grateful Before It's Too Late

هَلْ أَتَى عَلَى الإِنسَانِ حِينٌ مِّنَ الدَّهْرِ لَمْ يَكُن شَيْئاً مَّذْكُوراً {1} إِنَّا خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ مِن نُّطْفَةٍ أَمْشَاجٍ نَّبْتَلِيهِ فَجَعَلْنَاهُ سَمِيعاً بَصِيراً {2} إِنَّا هَدَيْنَاهُ السَّبِيلَ إِمَّا شَاكِراً وَإِمَّا كَفُوراً {3{

سورة الإنسان من الآية 1 إلى الآية 3

Has there not been over Man a long period of Time, when he was nothing - (not even) mentioned? Verily We created Man from a drop of mingled sperm, in order to try him: So We gave him (the gifts), of Hearing and Sight. We showed him the Way: whether he be grateful or ungrateful (rests on his will).

Holy Quran (Chapter 76 Verses 1-3)

This is a message to those who post their photos and ask other people for comments and when they receive positive comments they hide their arrogance behind: “No I look ugly, c’mon you are exaggerating, oh really you think so?” while muttering in their hearts: “Please say more”. A message to those who are seeking attention for what they have and secretly filled with pride and being arrogant for what they are having. This is a message to those who thinks the whole world is all about them and designed for them. A message to those who think they are the chosen one. Now read carefully what I am going to write because if an atheist just carefully focuses on what happened in my life he would immediately believe that a “God” actually exists.

How does it feel if you had a brand new beautiful car and the next day you had an accident and the car crashed? I can describe the feeling very well, it’s not hard for someone who was in worse situations. One of the best ways to prove humans they are weak is to put them in a "Depression" state where they can’t get what they want badly and a state where they can’t keep what they have or push away what they don’t want. Even though I was claiming to realize that I will lose what I have but deeply I had thoughts of having everything I want forever. Now, before I list the things I lost, I would like to give you an introduction to the reasons why I lost them.

One of the main reasons is because I had all traits of a Narcissist, yet, I didn’t do anything to actually improve my attitude, I didn’t know something called gratitude. It’s true that I was claiming I am grateful but I was ignoring the fact that gratitude is the memory of the heart followed by expression. I used to feel self-important exaggerating my accomplishments, talents, skills, looks, demanding to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements, I was obsessed with many fantasies like being the greatest man, I was looking for excessive admiration and attention, I was seeking all greatest praises. I had some daring fearsome thoughts of being like angels and the word “Unequalled” was deeply engraved in my heart. I thought I could have it all, even though I was sometimes pretending inferiority but deeply by pretending I was actually encouraging my arrogance. God said in the Quran:

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ

سورة إبراهيم الآية 7

“And remember! your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): "If ye are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; But if ye show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed.”

Holy Quran (Chapter 14 Verse 7)

Whenever gratitude is absent from something we have or something we are doing we will eventually lose them or fail on achieving what we started. I remember when I was kid, I was loved by all students, I was admired by most of them to the point I became my class leader many times, students would fight among themselves just to sit close to me and be my friend. I started being arrogant and I was telling people I am loved “Mahboob” by the people unlike X, Y and Z. What happened after is quite surprising, few years later, I started to lose every interest I had in people and my classmates, I started loving being alone, I hated to socialize with others, I hated wouldn’t attend ceremonies, or visit friends, family members…etc Of course being a lone wolf didn’t made me realize my mistake because I liked that somehow.

Years back I was so proud of my eyes, I was hearing comments like: “Mashallah! you have beautiful big brown eyes” so instead of realizing that I am owing a dept for Almighty Allah and thank him for giving me beautiful eyes I started taking shots of my eyes and post them everywhere to let the whole world knows that I have beautiful eyes, guess what happened!? I am almost blind!!! Honestly without my glass or lenses, if I don’t wear any I wouldn’t be able to see the nose, eyes, lips of the person in front of me who might be only 30 cm away, while driving I can’t see anything but few moving colors. Not only that I am almost blind but my eyes became far smaller than what it was before and it started to sink deeper in my face to extent the bones below my eyes can be clearly seen.

When arrogance’s and pride’s meter increases we start forgetting the obligations of gratitude. Around 3 years back I had a lean fit and strong body, great chest and shoulders; I had six-packs-abs, the body most men desires to have. I used to have long silky hair, I used to take photos of my body holding swords, lifting weights, wearing sun-glasses and capturing pictures of myself in poses where I can show the greatness of my body. I would hear people say he is “Dante El3arab” Dante is the hero of the popular video game (Devil May Cry). Many times I would hear some calls me the Arabian Terry Bogard (The popular SNK character from King of Fighters) which boosted my arrogance even further. Perhaps I didn’t make fun of other people’s bodies but I was never truly grateful for what I had so God taught me a lesson I will never forget and proved he can change a state to another immediately. I dramatically gained weight to extent I am having some loose skin, ironically the size of my abs increased and my chest & shoulders decreased even though I gained weight where normally one will gain mass in all parts of the body. Some may think I gained weight because I was eating very much but believe it or not, I gain almost 5 Kgs after a single meal, I gain three Kgs just if I ate say one BigMac from MacDonalds -only the sandwich- no fries or drinks included. Additionally, I would like to inform you I was only eating one meal a whole day!

I lost most of my strength, I used to lift 40-60 KGs very easily now I can barely lift 6 KG, to be honest sometimes I find it hard to turn around the cover of a water bottle to open it to extent I asked a lady twice to open it for me! It’s not how much we express our gratitude to Allah by uttering words but honestly the real gratitude is your heart appreciates the source of the blessing and you start living by them. As for my hair it’s true that I decided to cut it myself, but the result is now I am barely having new healthy hair, and the ones I am having are turning white or grey. Even though people lose such things at the end of their life when live for more than 60 years, but guess what I am still considered young. Sometimes I see my old photos, I doubts if I am the same person in the photos.

Some of the things I was proud of were my nose and my teeth, I used to have a nose like my dear father, a sword shaped nose, thin and with beautiful edge, I used to have a beautiful yet manly voice. Many would say AbdulAziz does look like Sheikh Zayed may Allah have mercy on him and some asked me if I am one of his sons or grandsons. Many would say AbdulAziz looks like this or that of those who have a great manly expression on their face. I can’t count the number of people said AbdulAziz have the best teeth, it’s perfectly shaped from my teachers to friends to family.

I was so proud of my voice I was recording my voice while reading Quran, I was able to copy dozens of people’s recitations with their exact voice. I swear to God I was very amazed how this changed, I remember I once fell on the wooden part of my bed where the shape of my nose changed, then after that I was hit by the disease with my nose called Sinusitis, which naturally grows the nose size and it changes one’s voice greatly. Later on while I was playing with my brother while swimming in our swimming pool when I fell on my face on the floor which broke all my front teeth and affected my nose as well. You might say there are many causes why specially those two got damaged but my answer is quite simple because I was arrogant and never thanked God for them, it’s when I realized that no task is more urgent to be accomplished of returning thanks if you want to keep things you like. Each one of us should seriously start thinking deeply of how much God gave us and how much we are using what he gave us in disobeying him.

I remember I was being proud that I am having great brothers and knowledgeable at least I could challenge them. I remember I had a brother I always used to challenge in acquiring knowledge, I was making fun of those who play football and I wouldn’t even dare to compare their competitions with the competition of myself with my elder brother. It’s true I lost a lot of things but this was one of the greatest things I lost, I lost my brother, he died suddenly! even though he was in my age and amazingly he wasn’t sick or anything like that. Basically everything I was proud off and I wasn’t sincerely grateful for I lost it.

The most critical thing one can lose if he wasn’t grateful and thankful is his faith. As you know, faith gets increased and decreased, this increase and decrease affected by gratitude greatly. I remember there was a year I didn’t miss a prayer, I didn’t miss sitting in the mosque till the sun-rise after Al-Fajr prayer, I remember praying at night alone, I was able to memorize 8 pages of Quran in less than one hour, I remember I used to memorize whatever lecture I listen and know who said it in which cassette or CD. I was reading 400 to 500 pages on a daily basis. Even though I didn’t even reach a fair level in knowledge I was being proud with what I have and considered most besides me as ignorant. Imagine having great physical qualities added with great mental abilities! I remember seeing many dreams about the great Prophets peace be upon them and many times I dreamed of angels, My ego got fueled and Satan boosted my pride I started boosting and telling all about it to show I am better than them, which eventually caused my downfall.

I have forgotten everything I memorized but only few chapters, I missed a lot of prayers at mosque and I can count the times I prayed at night or stayed till sunrise when they were countless. I started forgetting most information I have acquired by reading, I can’t focus very well when I am memorizing, I could barely find myself time to actually read books. I don’t remember when was the last time I did dream about the Prophets (Peace Be Upon Them) when I was seeing them quite often in my dreams. All this happened for reasons but one of the greatest reasons I am aware of is that I didn’t chain all these great blessing with gratitude. Most of people I know they say AbdulAziz it’s because of the mischief of the envious, I wouldn’t be weak and say yes it’s the reason, while it may be one reason but the real reason of what happened I know it very well.

Yes I lost them, yes I lost them all, I lost all the things that I was once so proud of. I lost all the things that caused me to think I am unusually better than others, and the main cause is that I was arrogant and far away from being grateful to what God gave me. However it’s true I lost everything I liked but this awareness, this awareness of that I must thank God and express my gratitude sincerely worth it. I deserve what happened to me but I am not going to grief for what I’ve lost because the message within what happened is far more greater than all I have. I am glad God didn’t end my life before I realize what was my mistake, for that I am honestly thankful to God. Imagine if you gave me everything I need and more than what I need and yet I was fighting you, not being grateful for what you gave me, you would eventually hate me or might kill me but it’s only God whose mercy reaches everywhere and covers everything that allowed me to still be alive after all I did with his blessings. Allah said in the Quran:

وَرَحْمَتِي وَسِعَتْ كُلَّ شَيْءٍ، فَسَأَكْتُبُهَا لِلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ وَيُؤْتُونَ الزَّكَاةَ وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ بِآيَاتِنَا يُؤْمِنُونَ

سورة الأعراف الآية 156

“My mercy extendeth to all things. That (mercy) I shall ordain for those who do right, and practise regular charity, and those who believe in Our Signs“

Holy Quran (Chapter 7 Verse 156)

I am not sharing this to have your sympathy nor to show the world how much I went through, I am sharing this to express my gratitude for Allah that he made me become aware, I am trying with everything I do to be a result of my gratitude for what God has done for me. This is a message to all those who are proud of having all they have, for all who lost what they had, for all people to be grateful to Allah for what he gave us, if Allah didn’t give us those blessings even if we do whatever we have and have the best equipments we would fail to have them. We need to develop an attitude of gratitude, I am not saying to feel gratitude alone since a silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone but express your appreciation through your words and acts with other human beings. As much as day and night renew every new day, you should renew your gratitude and repeat it.  Finally, I will leave you readers with few verses from the Quran may it touches your heart:

أَلَمْ نَجْعَل لَّهُ عَيْنَيْنِ *وَلِسَاناً وَشَفَتَيْنِ *وَهَدَيْنَاهُ النَّجْدَيْنِ* فَلاَ اقْتَحَمَ العَقَبَةَ (11) وَمَا أَدْرَاكَ مَا الْعَقَبَةُ (12 (فَكُّ رَقَبَةٍ (13) أَوْ إِطْعَامٌ فِي يَوْمٍ ذِي مَسْغَبَةٍ (14 ( يَتِيمًا ذَا مَقْرَبَةٍ (15) أَوْ مِسْكِينًا ذَا مَتْرَبَةٍ (16) ثُمَّ كَانَ مِنَ الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْمَرْحَمَةِ (17) أُوْلَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ الْمَيْمَنَةِ (18)

سورة البلد من الآية 11 إلى الآية 18

“Have We not made for him a pair of eyes?- And a tongue, and a pair of lips?- And shown him the two highways? But he hath made no haste on the path that is steep. And what will explain to thee the path that is steep?- (It is:) freeing the bondman; Or the giving of food in a day of privation To the orphan with claims of relationship, Or to the indigent (down) in the dust. Then will he be of those who believe, and enjoin patience, (constancy, and self-restraint), and enjoin deeds of kindness and compassion. Such are the Companions of the Right Hand. “

Holy Quran (Chapter 90 Verses 11-18)